For the longest time I have lived my life feeling ashamed and embarrassed of who I am, what I looked like, the things I loved. I did everything I could to bury that person. Today, I woke up feeling those same feelings or shame and regret dreading the painful obligation to get out of bed. But, I forced myself up and made my way to the mirror. I looked at myself : messy hair, ragged t shirt, nasty drool mark on the right corner of my mouth. I didn’t feel shame or hate. I wanted to hug that person staring back at me and apologize for all the times I’ve wanted to forget about her and be someone else. For all the times I’ve mistreated her and called her names and made her believe that she is worthless. For letting others misuse her and abuse her. For treating her in a way that I’d never treat anyone else.
It’s okay to forgive yourself and begin again. It’s okay to love who you are drool marks and all. Its taken me years upon years to learn what I’ve already known, but I think today it finally started to sink in. I love who I am and no one will ever make me think otherwise. Not even myself.
Toots And The Maytals | 54-46 Was My Number